(Dirk Would?) In three days the world will end. But that won’t stop the biggest food chain on our doomed earth from opening their doors for business. This week, Don Thompson, CEO of Mickey D’s told Steve Shortcollar of Global Food Reporters, that indeed McDonalds has a marketing strategy for the world ending. But how will it be possible?
According to DefenseDroids.com McDonalds and Boeing partnered up this year in developing buildings that are catastrophic proof. The outside walls are made of asteroid and meteor resistant panels as well as fire-proof. Inside will be amassed of heavy metal objects, an asteroid fire-place, a comet shower fall, and much more!
The cost to cover 2012 of these stores was roughly $2 billion. “With the money we save on paying our employees next to nothing and the help from our friends at Boeing… we were able to create a doomsday concept for the store and actually survive it,” Said Thompson.
So if you find yourself running for hopeless nothings as the end nearly swallows you up make sure you stop into McDonalds and grab a bite to eat. What’s on the menu?
For bargains make sure you check out the Mayan Dollar Menu. You can get everything from “Catastrophic Cajun Fries,” “Mass Destruction McDouble,” “Hurry Up And Run Hash Browns,” “Armageddon Angus Deluxe.”
According to the TLSI (Tastelikeshitinstitute) all of these items listed above will only contain 12 to 21 calories and combined altogether no more than 2012 total calories.
So if you get tired of running from asteroids, or eating canned beans be sure to stop into McDonalds ,as the world ends where you will be greeted with a terrifying smile! If you happen to survive Doomsday, and are alone for Christmas…. no worries, McDonalds will be opening on that day as well.
Contributing sources for this article: TLSI.com, Doomsday Daily, McDonalds, It’s either the end of the world or my stomach thanks to McDonalds.com, Defense Droids.
This was another fake story by : Derek Wood